


The Final Angel Fell...... And Heaven Was Consumed By Hell

by Ayita35730



Series: Beautiful Demons [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Dark Side Rey, Emperor Hux, F/F, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Hux is Not Nice, Knight of Ren Rey, Kylux - Freeform, Luke does not feel better, M/M, No reylo, Off-screen Relationship(s), Skywalker family shitshow, angsty shit ahead
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 05:07:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7561624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayita35730/pseuds/Ayita35730
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke awaits his execution at Emperor Hux's hand and reflects on his family legacy. </p>
<p>But he isn't alone as he faces death. The Force is perhaps good for something after all. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~This is not happy at all. Be prepared for some Angst~</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Final Angel Fell...... And Heaven Was Consumed By Hell

Luke once believed that red was the color of agony, of darkness.

 His entire existence, he’d painted things in colors. He’s a man who has always worked in absolutes. He, the great Master Skywalker- _a title he’d never wanted, not really_ \- supposed highest authority of the Light, let himself be so consumed with fear of the dark, that he failed to envision anything that existed in between.

 ~ _Ben’s triumphant smile as his saber flared to life within his fingers, a vibrant violet illuminating the ill lit walls of Luke’s room. How quickly that smile fell in the face of Luke’s fear, because purple had ties to the darkness, his_ nephew _had ties to the dark, just like Luke’s_ father _…”_

 He couldn’t comprehend it.

 Perhaps if he had…… if he hadn’t tried to carve out Ben’s- _Kylo. That boy is gone. Whatever remained Snoke destroyed… oh force….he let them destroy his nephew…-_ path, hadn’t made the child feel more alone, left defenseless against that monster whispering in the shadows……

 “Ah, it is indeed the ‘ifs’ that hurt the worst is it not?” A smooth voice whispers with far too much empathy, and Luke’s eyes flicker up to meet that of his once Master’s. Despite his understanding, he cannot help but jump, his back jolting against the cool walls of the _Finalizer_ as he blinks, taking in the glowing shadow of his old friend. “Obi Wan?” He gasps slightly, reaching out as if to brush his fingers against the other man’s shoulder, as the metal digs into his wrists Luke is reminded of the cuffs.

 Force resistant, designed by Rey.

 …… _Rey._

 ~ _A giggling little Rey, hair falling around her face hugging Ben’s leg. Ben lets his outer robe drape over her in a mock hiding place as she hides from one of the other kids, a small but distinct smile on his face as he observes her silliness. Luke’s heart lightens a bit and he steps into the room and immediately both kids part, the carefree aura dissipating as if it were never there._

  _He’s never felt the part of an intrusion quite so heavy as that day.~_

 “It’s a heavy burden to bear. Questioning it all, wondering what more you could have done, what else you could have said, or if the things you managed to do and say are what drove it to begin with. I’m sorry I did not teach you enough about my own mistakes to stop you from repeating them.” Obi Wan whispers softly, sober eyes regarding him with every manner of pity.

  
“Stop that. You’re making it worse.” A new voice pipes up, stronger and vibrant and painfully familiar.

 Leia.

 Luke’s breath stops, and he closes his eyes to stall the tears he feels brimming beneath his lids. He knows they killed her. He knew the moment R-.... He knew the moment Kali Ren brought down her lightsaber. Perhaps the cuffs had malfunctioned, perhaps it was something else entirely, but he felt it in every excruciating detail. The sheer weight of her hopelessness, her pain, the twisted burn that was her never wavering love for her children.

 He’d screamed until the guards had sedated him.

 Since then, they’ve kept him drugged, attempted to cloud his mind, but _nothing_ dulls the utter agony that was the severing of his connection to his sister. His family was his warmth, his power, his drive, and with her final breath Leia took the last bit of will Luke had left. He’s always cold now, always empty. A shadow of a man supposed to be an idol as the Masters before him were.

 Because in the end he was always just a man, a man who couldn’t save his family when they needed him the most.

 “Luke. Shh come on open your eyes.” Her voice is pleading, and oh so gentle. Kinder than he deserves. He let her son be raped of his identity, his free will, convinced her to leave her daughter to lose her mind in the deserts of Jakku. He hid like a coward from the mistakes he made, and the search for him ended with a lightsaber through her husband’s-his best friend- chest. Leia has every right to despise him.

 He does.“Get over yourself Luke.” Leia reprimands sharply, and he opens his eyes, startled first by the snap and then by her appearance.

 She’s younger, so much younger, just about the age she was when they first truly met, all those years ago. The lines of worry and stress and anger are gone, leaving a face seemingly unmarred by the grief that follows their family like a curse, each new generation experiencing it in some twisted recap of the ones before.

 And now what is left? Two homicidal, insane Knights of Ren and one failure of a Jedi.  

 His despair must be evident on his face, because Leia’s expression softens and she takes a deep breath, calming herself. Her hand hovers over her lap, as if she wants to reach out for him, but they both know she can’t.

 So instead she straightens her back, and plows on, although the harsh edge from a moment ago vanishes.

 “The blame for this disaster lies with us all Luke. _I_ let my ambition and fear isolate me from my son and left him an easy target for Snoke.   _I_ left Breya on that planet. _I_ was blind to a threat that as a General I should have never missed.” Luke starts to interrupt her there, no more willing to let her blame herself than she seems to be willing to let him, but she holds up a hand, stopping him. Her eyes have that irritated, ‘no nonsense’ gleam he remembers so fondly, the one that seemed to grace her almost constantly when she was a young princess, at odds with a cocky smuggler.

 “But I wasn't their only parent. At least I wasn’t supposed to be. You and I both know that as much as he loved them, and me, Han ran away. He  never tried to grow up, was always too afraid to be a father to our children. And then there are my children themselves, who are not blameless innocents in all this. They might have been at one point, Ben was malleable as a child, defenseless, and Rey was abandoned, scared. But we all grow up, and so did they. They both made their own decisions when they were old enough to have the capacity to do so. Ben chose to let his rage and pain consume him, to follow Snoke into the Dark Side. It was him who murdered Han, who stood by while his _lover_ -” This she spits with disgust and Luke cannot help but agree. Hux is even more despicable than Snoke was. “- slaughtered a whole star system full of innocents. Then Breya, she chose to betray the friends who were devoted to her. Poe and Finn, they were completely innocent in all of this. Yet she let her need for revenge and fury at us consume her, and the life she could have had. It wasn’t just me she killed. She and Ben have that blood on their hands. Poe, Chewy, Finn. None of which would have happened without their betrayal.”

 She pauses again, glancing at Obi Wan from the corner of her eye. “ And it wasn’t even just our family who created this mess, or just our recent family” She continues, and Luke’s former mentor chuckles bitterly at her comment.

 “Snoke stole my son away, he preyed on a hurt and confused child and then melded him into a dependent monster. He would have done the same to my daughter had I not hidden her on Jakku. And then now, Hux and Phasma, they played a major hand in all of this as well. They preyed upon the needy, broken minds of my children and painted their twisted love story in blood across the galaxy. And if we really wish to assign blame fairly, our father, he murdered our mother, he left us to grow up alone. He turned towards hate, created this life for us all, all because he could not be the selfless man he had once committed to be. Obi Wan here, he  let our father believe us dead, and who knows, should he have known otherwise, perhaps this all would have been different. This was not a tragedy written by one, Luke Skywalker. So don’t you dare sit there and condemn only yourself. ”

 Luke marvels at the unwavering surety in her voice, even when practically retelling the downfall of her own family, she still doesn’t sound completely defeated. Weary, resigned perhaps, but not completely defeated. Maybe in her eyes, the few successes they’ve had for the galaxy, those are enough to make it not a defeat in her eyes.

 “Sometimes I forget how strong you can be.” He whispers, and it’s sad how deeply he means that. Even after Kylo was taken by Snoke, after she left Rey, and Han took off, Leia never let herself break. She always held her head high, she pushed on. She’s still holding on to that strength some, even now, when everything has been lost.

 The Force chose the wrong twin to be its champion of Light. It should have been her, with all her will, and the power he’s never quite known what to do with, maybe then Leia could have prevented all this. Prevented it the ways he himself failed.

 “And sometimes you forget how strong _you_ can be.” Obi Wan whispers, likely reading Luke’s thoughts, and he turns his weary gaze towards the other Master, who is regarding him with a calculating look bathed in regret and admiration. A combination that Luke cannot quite recall having ever seen in _anyone’s_ eyes, much less Obi Wan’s.

 “You were never meant for this life Luke,” The man says softly, and it sounds like a confession. “Your soul is too kind, too loving for a Jedi. You’re strong enough, pure enough, but I never let myself think about how this life would ruin you. How it would eat at you, rob from you the things in life that truly would have made you happy. Leia was well suited for the life she chose, it gave her the opportunities she wanted. You excelled, you have always excelled, and I will be proud of you until the end of all things, but I never gave you that choice. For that I am sorry Luke, and for so much more.”

 Luke laughs, and it sounds almost hysteric, as emotions well up inside him, claw at his mind and brutally fight for dominance without any clear victor emerged. His guilt merges with his anger and despair, and suddenly it’s like his head is almost swimming, and then he can hear _everything_. Apologies flood all of his mind, bouncing off the walls of the room as if they are almost tangible.

 

_I’m sorry I failed._

 

_I’m sorry I took your choices away._

 

_I’m sorry I was blinded by my affection._

 

_I’m sorry I didn’t save them._

 

_I’m sorry for all this pain._

 

_I’m sorry I left._

 

_I’m sorry I hurt you._

 

_I’m sorry I gave up on you._

 

_I’m sorry I was selfish._

 

_I’m sorry I couldn’t save you._

 

**_I’m sorry._ **

  


They all echo in the Force, in his mind, his own voice, his sister’s, Obi Wan’s, voices he barely recognizes, has never heard before, or never thought he’d hear again.

 His family. All of them, here, in his mind now, past and present, by blood or by love, every one of his family members are muttering in his mind, admitting their guilt now, as they all watch  their legacy crumbles into infamy.

 He can’t see them all, just Leia and Obi Wan still, but he knows by the fond yet bittersweet looks the two exchange instantly that the phenomenon isn’t just a figment of his imagination. They really are trying to atone with each other, now, years too late. How perfectly fitting. They all always seem to be just a little too late.

 “We can’t save you Luke. I wish we could, but even if we could all materialize at the same time, we cannot physically affect anything that could let you escape from this hell. I’m sorry Luke. I’m sorry I can’t be the one to save you this time.” Leia explains quietly, not quite hiding the hope lingering in her words. She still thinks he will escape, given the proper motivation.

  
“Like I saved you from Kali?” He responds shakily, and Leia’s face is instantly devastated, frustration and worry both heavily present in her gaze as she once again makes an aborted motion to hug him.

 Just seeing that, seeing her worried for him from even beyond the grave, the solemn voices of his family still ringing in his ears….. Luke breaks. Truly and utterly breaks, because truly, he has lost everything, regardless of who is to blame.

 “ I was dead the moment you took your last breath sister. There is no saving me. I don’t even think I _want_ to be saved. I want to stop pretending I’m fearing my death, stop pretending that it’s my life that I’m mourning.”

 Leia is quiet for a moment, and then she speaks, her words deliberate and spoken in such a way that even though he has no idea how, he knows that she sounds just like their mother.

 “Then what _are_ you mourning Luke, if not this, if not hope. Me? That is pointless, and you know it.”

 Luke hears it, in her tone. The hope there that possibly, just maybe, she just has to rile him up and he will somehow dream up a brilliant escape plan that will fix everything. That he’ll grab Ben and Breya and fix everything, as everyone always expected him to do. But this time he cannot pretend, he can not hope that things will work out that way. This time, he has to be honest.

 “I’m mourning the maybe, Leia. I’m grieving for the lives we could have had, the people we could have been, if Skywalker was simply a name and not a kriffing sentence. I’m mourning Leia Skywalker and Luke Skywalker, children of Padme and Anakin, who grew up together on Naboo. I’m mourning Leia and Han, nervous parents who got to watch every moment of their son growing up, with no other struggles or responsibilities. Who have Breya at the perfect time, Ben growing up safe and loved and now adoring his sister, who is never alone. Who both grew up with the potential and idealism to keep people like Hux from even surfacing. To Uncle Luke who just got to love them, not teach them, who flew planes and fell in love and maybe had a kid of his own. That’s what I’m mourning now Leia, because before giving that up, it had meaning. We were ‘helping’ the universe, protecting people. But what good is it now?”

 Luke is practically talking to himself now, his breath shallow and wet. “What good was all our pain when we couldn’t save anyone?”

 For once, she seems to have nothing to say, and Luke swears if she could, she’d be crying.

“You’ve really given up.” She whispers, and her voice sounds so utterly _young_ that Luke starts to wonder what she was like as a child, what it would have been like to grow up protecting and loving his sister, instead of starting when she was already so good at taking care of herself that she never let anyone else try.

 “Sometimes it’s best to know when to accept that you are done. And I am. Perhaps it is best that our name dies with me, and that the Jedi do. Both are so inherently flawed, that they can only do the galaxy harm now.”

 “You are a good man Luke. Your mother, she would be proud. You are everything she loved about your father, and nothing that she feared.” Obi Wan says softly, and his eyes almost seem to glaze over despite the blue hue of the apparitions, seemingly his mind wandering between past and present memories.

 “I’ll be meeting her soon,” Luke says cooly, and he almost surprises himself when he realizes he never thought about that before. Seeing his father, sure. He’d planned for so long what he would say should he get another chance, but not his mother. He wonders if she indeed will be proud.

He wonders if really, even he should be.


End file.
